I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
