Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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