It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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