Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
