Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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