This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize