My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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