I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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