im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
