mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
