Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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