i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
