Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
