did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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