He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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