you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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