Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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