omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
