My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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