At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
