Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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