He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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