This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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