Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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