come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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