I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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