Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
