Pappa wants mamma naked
my mouth tastes like poor choices
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
