He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
