i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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