a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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