Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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