Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize