i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
well you can't waste a boner
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
