They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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