I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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