He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
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I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
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I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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