Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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