The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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