Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I will pee on everything he values.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
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