yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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