I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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