I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
MIDGETS
????
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
