Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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