and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
