Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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