So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
