the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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