so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
