Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
