Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
