Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
