I'm jealous of your bromance
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
