every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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