Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
