How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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