apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
