Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
