My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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