just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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