What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
