I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
