it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
