I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize