I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my phone needs a breathalizer
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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