you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i will never coherently bang her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
