jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
