I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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