dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
